Well the dog act got drunk again last night
The king and queen of the waltz clog team had another fight
The king was careless with his tango grip, nearly lost his queen in a dip
Yeah she righted herself, straightened out her slip and kicked him in the shin
Miss Billy Begonia thinks she's**** the "big time"
She wants a thick red rug from the dressing room door to the frontline of the footlights
She's got a sky blue swansdown powder puff and a corset to keep her spirits up
Yeah, she don't sweat, she sours and melts like ice cream in the sun
She'll be out of a job at the end of this three week run
We're having fun out here on Panic Beach
All the vaudeville b**s are here out on Panic Beach
I hear them talk about the Palace but it's so far out of reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
The visionary theatric strikes a juggler's seesaw tune
And the dying swan pirouettes and fawns by the light of the street lamp moon
When my trunk is filled with taffeta those "big time" hacks won't laugh at us
When my taps are made of silver I can make the kiddies thrill for just one buck and wing
Yeah, I will nail them to my heel and the Panic Choir sings
Here comes a lucky little thing to Panic Beach
Yeah you know we got to teach him how to sing while we're stuck on Panic Beach
Ah the way ya hear 'em say it, doesn't seem so outta reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Well, the landlord gets a free show every Saturday at six
Sometimes on a Sunday, all dependin' on whatever kinda mood he's in
I keep his glass filled up with sherry and sing him all his favorite songs
If a tear comes to his eye he may let a month go by before he takes away my key
Oh that sherry starts to taste real good to me
Hey mama look at me on Panic Beach
I may be hungry but my rent is free up on Panic Beach
Yeah I can almost see the Palace no longer outta reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
The king and queen of the waltz clog team had another fight
The king was careless with his tango grip, nearly lost his queen in a dip
Yeah she righted herself, straightened out her slip and kicked him in the shin
Miss Billy Begonia thinks she's**** the "big time"
She wants a thick red rug from the dressing room door to the frontline of the footlights
She's got a sky blue swansdown powder puff and a corset to keep her spirits up
Yeah, she don't sweat, she sours and melts like ice cream in the sun
She'll be out of a job at the end of this three week run
We're having fun out here on Panic Beach
All the vaudeville b**s are here out on Panic Beach
I hear them talk about the Palace but it's so far out of reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
The visionary theatric strikes a juggler's seesaw tune
And the dying swan pirouettes and fawns by the light of the street lamp moon
When my trunk is filled with taffeta those "big time" hacks won't laugh at us
When my taps are made of silver I can make the kiddies thrill for just one buck and wing
Yeah, I will nail them to my heel and the Panic Choir sings
Here comes a lucky little thing to Panic Beach
Yeah you know we got to teach him how to sing while we're stuck on Panic Beach
Ah the way ya hear 'em say it, doesn't seem so outta reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Well, the landlord gets a free show every Saturday at six
Sometimes on a Sunday, all dependin' on whatever kinda mood he's in
I keep his glass filled up with sherry and sing him all his favorite songs
If a tear comes to his eye he may let a month go by before he takes away my key
Oh that sherry starts to taste real good to me
Hey mama look at me on Panic Beach
I may be hungry but my rent is free up on Panic Beach
Yeah I can almost see the Palace no longer outta reach
So I'll do my time then say goodbye to Panic Beach
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye