I thought I had romance, no chance till I met you, right next to my whipper in a fly sweatsuit
Like this was Boyz N' the Hood and I'm Tre, you didn't have dishes to do and there was no one home at Grandma's place
I blew kisses to you when I'm on stage. At least I was picturin' you when I blew 'em at that chick with blonde waves
You know, I might have banged her too, but since you wouldn't want A.I.D.S., you should be thankin' lou, I had a condom on, HEY!!
Girl I would rob a bank for you, catch a shank or two, but I won't treat you like my last girl I'll never strangle you
You're my angelfood and I want my cake and taste it too. So, get straight into your naked suit and your favorite shoes
Not to cheapen our s** life, but I got them tapes of you, and if you leave me the next night they might turn up on Pay Per View
Psych! You know I like to play with you. I wouldn't do you wrong, but if you ever break a date with lou, I'll screw you in a song
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
You're the best thing that's happened, girl, the light of my life. Like ya depite the fact we fight every night
While we're wrestling I might get a knife, but just for threatenin'. I wouldn't chance your implants to spring a leak. I like 'em that size
Girl, you got a little d*** in your eyes. Which is cool. You might be surprised. I like b****** too, not just you
And if you down to knock the boots, then I found a prostitute who'd love to rock with you tonight if it's cool
Cause I'm in the mood for love or f*****' some anyway, and friendship this authentic doesn't come everyday
It's one of the many ways with which I tell you, "I love you", but sometimes I think it's swell to just f*** you
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
I wanna pledge my love and loyalty to the one who spoils me, rubs and oils me from head to toe you'd never know I wasn't royalty
STEP 1: To let you know how important your heart is, I carved this one from the chest of a farm pig with a sharp BIC razor
STEP 2: I'll lay it next to your head, while you're undressed in your bed dreamin' of s** that we've had
STEP 3: I'll tether your legs together and tie your hands down, and prance round the room while I pull my bloomers and pants down
STEP 4: I'll paint a red cross above the headboard, and set forth to b**pin' uglies till your b*** gets bed sores
But 5 is my favorite, my video of the guys that you've laid with gettin' beatin' till they lie on the pavement
Now that's romance for ya, when you need to finance lawyers to get Diane Sawyer's lyin' a** off ya
I ain't no wife beater. b**** I'm in love. Gimme some room so I can get this blood rinsed from my gloves
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
You're all that I need I'll be there for you. But the rest are doo doo
I'll hold the door and pull out ya chair for you. But the rest are doo doo
If you had a fanclub I'd be in there too. But the rest are doo doo
Cause you'd love me fat and old or with thin hair too, I'll squeeze you tighter than a swimwear suit
Like this was Boyz N' the Hood and I'm Tre, you didn't have dishes to do and there was no one home at Grandma's place
I blew kisses to you when I'm on stage. At least I was picturin' you when I blew 'em at that chick with blonde waves
You know, I might have banged her too, but since you wouldn't want A.I.D.S., you should be thankin' lou, I had a condom on, HEY!!
Girl I would rob a bank for you, catch a shank or two, but I won't treat you like my last girl I'll never strangle you
You're my angelfood and I want my cake and taste it too. So, get straight into your naked suit and your favorite shoes
Not to cheapen our s** life, but I got them tapes of you, and if you leave me the next night they might turn up on Pay Per View
Psych! You know I like to play with you. I wouldn't do you wrong, but if you ever break a date with lou, I'll screw you in a song
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
You're the best thing that's happened, girl, the light of my life. Like ya depite the fact we fight every night
While we're wrestling I might get a knife, but just for threatenin'. I wouldn't chance your implants to spring a leak. I like 'em that size
Girl, you got a little d*** in your eyes. Which is cool. You might be surprised. I like b****** too, not just you
And if you down to knock the boots, then I found a prostitute who'd love to rock with you tonight if it's cool
Cause I'm in the mood for love or f*****' some anyway, and friendship this authentic doesn't come everyday
It's one of the many ways with which I tell you, "I love you", but sometimes I think it's swell to just f*** you
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
I wanna pledge my love and loyalty to the one who spoils me, rubs and oils me from head to toe you'd never know I wasn't royalty
STEP 1: To let you know how important your heart is, I carved this one from the chest of a farm pig with a sharp BIC razor
STEP 2: I'll lay it next to your head, while you're undressed in your bed dreamin' of s** that we've had
STEP 3: I'll tether your legs together and tie your hands down, and prance round the room while I pull my bloomers and pants down
STEP 4: I'll paint a red cross above the headboard, and set forth to b**pin' uglies till your b*** gets bed sores
But 5 is my favorite, my video of the guys that you've laid with gettin' beatin' till they lie on the pavement
Now that's romance for ya, when you need to finance lawyers to get Diane Sawyer's lyin' a** off ya
I ain't no wife beater. b**** I'm in love. Gimme some room so I can get this blood rinsed from my gloves
(JJ) Darlin', when it's for real this how it feel.
(LL)All my other girlfriends were just practice
(JJ) Stay on my mind all of the time.
(LL) Fact is my last chick was nothin' but an actress
(JJ) Baby, you stole my heart right from the start.
(LL)I'm tellin' you, you're foot would probably fit in Cinderella's shoe
(JJ) d***! You went and stole the whole show! Now hear the horns go:
(ALL) Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo
You're all that I need I'll be there for you. But the rest are doo doo
I'll hold the door and pull out ya chair for you. But the rest are doo doo
If you had a fanclub I'd be in there too. But the rest are doo doo
Cause you'd love me fat and old or with thin hair too, I'll squeeze you tighter than a swimwear suit