We don't believe in "You know who" But we don't let the kids know it We're parents, who are grown ups There's a line we have to toe it
But we're part of a conspiracyAbout this bearded big fat guyWho isn't real, who never livedWho's old, but doesn't die
We went to the department storeWe climbed out on that limbTold the kids that it was "You know who"We said that b** was him
Then we placed them on his kneeTo me, the knee seemed rather bonyHappily they sat though chatting with that phony
Told the kids we could provide the proofDeceit, how I hate itWe put out the milk and cookiesYes, I admit I drank and ate it
Then that fib about the North PoleIs if any Elves could live thereWe helped to write and send that letterKnowing full well, it went nowhere
You know who comes down the chimneyHow could such a fat man fit?The whole thing is preposterousYet we get children to buy itWe have no shame, the lies pile up
You think at least we'd barkWhen we sing of red nosed reindeerAnd snowmen who dance and talk
Well it's just a harmless storyA fairytales and Christmas funNot unlike that other theoryThe one about Gods Son
Where Angels talk to shepherdsWise men troop after a starAnd a Virgin has a babyBoy that's fetched pretty far
But we adults buy that conspiracyWe toe and swallow that old lineDisappearing milk and cookiesWhat about that bread and wine?
It's enough to make you hesitateIt's enough to give you pausePerhaps it's just as crucialKids believe in "You know who"
But we're part of a conspiracyAbout this bearded big fat guyWho isn't real, who never livedWho's old, but doesn't die
We went to the department storeWe climbed out on that limbTold the kids that it was "You know who"We said that b** was him
Then we placed them on his kneeTo me, the knee seemed rather bonyHappily they sat though chatting with that phony
Told the kids we could provide the proofDeceit, how I hate itWe put out the milk and cookiesYes, I admit I drank and ate it
Then that fib about the North PoleIs if any Elves could live thereWe helped to write and send that letterKnowing full well, it went nowhere
You know who comes down the chimneyHow could such a fat man fit?The whole thing is preposterousYet we get children to buy itWe have no shame, the lies pile up
You think at least we'd barkWhen we sing of red nosed reindeerAnd snowmen who dance and talk
Well it's just a harmless storyA fairytales and Christmas funNot unlike that other theoryThe one about Gods Son
Where Angels talk to shepherdsWise men troop after a starAnd a Virgin has a babyBoy that's fetched pretty far
But we adults buy that conspiracyWe toe and swallow that old lineDisappearing milk and cookiesWhat about that bread and wine?
It's enough to make you hesitateIt's enough to give you pausePerhaps it's just as crucialKids believe in "You know who"