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Televangelist Lyrics

Oh, dear Lord, I beseech Thee
That Thou, in Thy Grace, will receive me
And grant me pray
One prayer today...
Make me flashy, make me florid
Make my oratory torrid
When I preach on the devil and the communists.
Let me pace across the stage
Like a silk-suited animal in a cage -
Make me a televangelist.

Let me preach on the teaching of creation.
Let me reach out and get me some of them love donations.
Take me from this revival tent.
Make me a friend of the president.
Let me preach from Leviticus when I'm p*****.
Well, Christianity's more excitin'
With a good sound system and dramatic lightin'
Make me a televangelist.
Aww, take it brother...
Praise your holy name...
Hallelujah...
(Arabic sounding gibberish)
Make them tune in to Channel 34
I'll grab 'em then with my booming voice and pompadour
Give me a choir and a smokin' band
Guns for hire in Evangeland.
Let me use the Scriptures like a fist.
Mmm, I'll give credit where credit's due
And all the credit belongs to you, so
Hey, big fella, sure would be swella

If you make me a televange-
With a great big Texas ranch-a!
Make me a televangelist! (Amen)
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