Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park
Shaves in the dark
Trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
Saving up to buy some clothes
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shop
She never stops
She's a go-getter
She takes him out to look at the queen
The only place that he's ever been
He always shouts out something obscene
He's such a dirty old man
Dirty old man
Mean Mr. Mustard
A such a dirty dirty
Mean Mr. Mustard
Shaves in the dark
Trying to save paper
Sleeps in a hole in the road
Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
Saving up to buy some clothes
Such a mean old man
Such a mean old man
His sister Pam works in a shop
She never stops
She's a go-getter
She takes him out to look at the queen
The only place that he's ever been
He always shouts out something obscene
He's such a dirty old man
Dirty old man
Mean Mr. Mustard
A such a dirty dirty
Mean Mr. Mustard