Ball of Kerrymuir Lyrics

Four-and-twenty virgins come down from Inverness,
And when the Ball was over, there were four-and-twenty less,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all..
There was doin' in the parlor, there was doin' on the stones,
But ya couldn't a hear the music for the wheezin' and the groans,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The undertaker, he was there, all wrapped up in a shroud,
Swingin' from the chandelier, and peein' on the crowd,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The village cripple, he was there, ah he could not do much,
So he lined the ladies against the wall, and he did 'em with his crutch,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

Miss Mary McPherson was standin' way up front,
Some posies in her hand, and a carrot in her c***,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.
The Village postman, he was there, but the poor man had the pox,
He could not do the lassies, so he did the letter box,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.

The Village Magician, he was there, he gave us all a laugh,
He pulled his foreskin over his head, and he vanished up his a**,

Singin' b**** to your partner, your a** against the wall,
If ya never been had on a Saturday night, ya never been had at all.