CHORUS:
If William Shatner can, I can too
Captain Kirk has got to sing the blues
Just another celebrity with nothing to lose
Singing for my supper with my hat in my hand
Oh, I'm Hollywood's answer to a Renaissance man
Russell Crowe was on the Leno show
Singing some song that nobody knows
He's got an Oscar, now he's got a guitar
Just like that, he's a rock-and-roll star
Kathy Lee had to quit the show
To be with her family, then the next thing you know
There's a TV special and a Christmas CD
Just ain't Jesus without Kathie Lee
Movie stardom's just a job
When you can sing like Billy Bob
CHORUS
Despite people 'cross the country screaming: "Please don't do it!"
We've got another CD from Jennifer Love Hewitt
And now that Adam Sandler's got more money than God
I hope he takes his guitar and just...goes away
It's safe to say no one wins
When you listen to the Olsen twins
CHORUS
During the Star-Spangled Bannder, Roseanne grabbed her crotch
Those with televisions got to watch
Xena the Warrior Princess hit a high C
Out popped a breast and, well, you know the rest--oh, say can you see?
The three sides of Bob (Giddy?)
Are three sides too many
CHORUS
If William Shatner can, I can too
Captain Kirk has got to sing the blues
Just another celebrity with nothing to lose
Singing for my supper with my hat in my hand
Oh, I'm Hollywood's answer to a Renaissance man
Russell Crowe was on the Leno show
Singing some song that nobody knows
He's got an Oscar, now he's got a guitar
Just like that, he's a rock-and-roll star
Kathy Lee had to quit the show
To be with her family, then the next thing you know
There's a TV special and a Christmas CD
Just ain't Jesus without Kathie Lee
Movie stardom's just a job
When you can sing like Billy Bob
CHORUS
Despite people 'cross the country screaming: "Please don't do it!"
We've got another CD from Jennifer Love Hewitt
And now that Adam Sandler's got more money than God
I hope he takes his guitar and just...goes away
It's safe to say no one wins
When you listen to the Olsen twins
CHORUS
During the Star-Spangled Bannder, Roseanne grabbed her crotch
Those with televisions got to watch
Xena the Warrior Princess hit a high C
Out popped a breast and, well, you know the rest--oh, say can you see?
The three sides of Bob (Giddy?)
Are three sides too many
CHORUS