[Gunshot]
[Operator:] Suicide Hotline, may I help you?
[Violent J:] Yeah... Uhh... Well I'm about to f****** kill myself...
[Operator:] Listen you don't want to do that, OK? You don't want to do that.
[Violent J:] I'm gonna... eh... There's so many f****** reasons why I don't even need to be here anymore.
[Operator:] There's no reason
[Violent J:] I'm gonna put a slug in my f****** head!
[Operator:] You don't want to do that, you want to be here on Earth, OK?
[Violent J:] f*** that s*** man! I got a gun right now.
[Operator:] Put it away
[Violent J:] ...and I got it right under my chin, man, f*** that!
[Operator:] Take it away from your chin.
[Violent J:] I'm gonna blow my head all over the f****** ceiling
[Operator:] No you're not, OK?
[Violent J:] f*** this s*** man...
[Operator:] Just talk to me, OK?
It ain't no point to me waking up,
Everybody's time I'm taking up,
I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near,
I can't stay here & it's colder there,
I don't wanna look back 'cause it's gonna hurt,
I slice my wrist & it's gonna squirt,
For me everybody holds a hate,
I get backstabbed & everybody holds the stake,
It's no roads to take, I'm in a circle drive,
Busting at myself & I'm trying to survive,
I'll disappoint you, & I will let you down,
And I ain't got many home boys coming around,
You don't understand, so don't say you do,
I swear I'll put a m************ slug in you,
I'm the only one,
The lonely one,
At home alone loading a gun, thinking "Why not?"
"Why not? Why would you wanna die?
Okay, you have feelings inside your head, okay?
I understand that feelings lead to depression
When you have depression, you have a lonely void inside of your heart, okay?
And your heart means everything to the world, okay?"
I got court coming up, I stole a truck.
I got a b**** pregnant & I'm broke as f***,
I wanna get high but I got p*** test,
I'm always first name on top of the s*** list,
Get this, the witch has made my chest
It's permanent nightly visiting nest,
It ain't no clothes that I look good in,
I'm the m************ big red train that couldn't,
I got no family, I stole they s***,
Restraining orders & I still won't quit,
I hit rock bottom & then I fell in a hole
And then I fell through the floor of that hole some more,
I been missing for a year, nobody's looking,
I got beat down & my s*** tooken,
I look ahead & all I see is more of the same,
Or this self-inflicted bullet hole pouring my brain
"Ooooooookay, I understand that you're in pain, okay?
I understand everything you're going through
I've been there myself, okay?
Now, your pain is my pain,
Alright? And I feel your pain, and I wanna be your friend
Just me and you, friends"
I dream about cutting heads off with a shovel,
The dreams are getting serious, think I'm in trouble,
I don't hold memory for more than an hour,
I'm tired as f*** & I'm drained of power,
I ain't half way there & I'm all out of time,
I'm like a crushed light bulb, all out of shine,
I've been around the world but no place is home,
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome,
I'm b*** naked, I've been jacking off, getting drunk,
It's my last hours alive, who gives a f***?
It don't matter,
I'm doing the s*** in the garage,
Trying to make it easier for them to clean my head splaage,
This b**** I loved, I hope she finds me,
Still up in the chair with my thoughts behind me
I'm about to do it,
[Beep]
Can you hold for a second?
[Operator:] Wait a min!
[Violent J:] Hello?
[Girl:] Hey what's up?
[Violent J:] Where you at?
[Girl:] Right down the street?
[Violent J:] With who?
[Girl:] My girl Shannon, we were wondering if we could stop by
[Violent J:] Well s*** yeah... com'on... bye
[Girl:] Really?
[Violent J:] Yeah hey...
[Girl:] I know bring some blunts
[Violent J:] Uh huh, alright, bye
[Priest leading in "Lord's Prayer":]
So we pray, our father Lord be together.
Amen.
[Operator:] Suicide Hotline, may I help you?
[Violent J:] Yeah... Uhh... Well I'm about to f****** kill myself...
[Operator:] Listen you don't want to do that, OK? You don't want to do that.
[Violent J:] I'm gonna... eh... There's so many f****** reasons why I don't even need to be here anymore.
[Operator:] There's no reason
[Violent J:] I'm gonna put a slug in my f****** head!
[Operator:] You don't want to do that, you want to be here on Earth, OK?
[Violent J:] f*** that s*** man! I got a gun right now.
[Operator:] Put it away
[Violent J:] ...and I got it right under my chin, man, f*** that!
[Operator:] Take it away from your chin.
[Violent J:] I'm gonna blow my head all over the f****** ceiling
[Operator:] No you're not, OK?
[Violent J:] f*** this s*** man...
[Operator:] Just talk to me, OK?
It ain't no point to me waking up,
Everybody's time I'm taking up,
I got nobody, it ain't a shoulder near,
I can't stay here & it's colder there,
I don't wanna look back 'cause it's gonna hurt,
I slice my wrist & it's gonna squirt,
For me everybody holds a hate,
I get backstabbed & everybody holds the stake,
It's no roads to take, I'm in a circle drive,
Busting at myself & I'm trying to survive,
I'll disappoint you, & I will let you down,
And I ain't got many home boys coming around,
You don't understand, so don't say you do,
I swear I'll put a m************ slug in you,
I'm the only one,
The lonely one,
At home alone loading a gun, thinking "Why not?"
"Why not? Why would you wanna die?
Okay, you have feelings inside your head, okay?
I understand that feelings lead to depression
When you have depression, you have a lonely void inside of your heart, okay?
And your heart means everything to the world, okay?"
I got court coming up, I stole a truck.
I got a b**** pregnant & I'm broke as f***,
I wanna get high but I got p*** test,
I'm always first name on top of the s*** list,
Get this, the witch has made my chest
It's permanent nightly visiting nest,
It ain't no clothes that I look good in,
I'm the m************ big red train that couldn't,
I got no family, I stole they s***,
Restraining orders & I still won't quit,
I hit rock bottom & then I fell in a hole
And then I fell through the floor of that hole some more,
I been missing for a year, nobody's looking,
I got beat down & my s*** tooken,
I look ahead & all I see is more of the same,
Or this self-inflicted bullet hole pouring my brain
"Ooooooookay, I understand that you're in pain, okay?
I understand everything you're going through
I've been there myself, okay?
Now, your pain is my pain,
Alright? And I feel your pain, and I wanna be your friend
Just me and you, friends"
I dream about cutting heads off with a shovel,
The dreams are getting serious, think I'm in trouble,
I don't hold memory for more than an hour,
I'm tired as f*** & I'm drained of power,
I ain't half way there & I'm all out of time,
I'm like a crushed light bulb, all out of shine,
I've been around the world but no place is home,
I wanna see the other side when I face this chrome,
I'm b*** naked, I've been jacking off, getting drunk,
It's my last hours alive, who gives a f***?
It don't matter,
I'm doing the s*** in the garage,
Trying to make it easier for them to clean my head splaage,
This b**** I loved, I hope she finds me,
Still up in the chair with my thoughts behind me
I'm about to do it,
[Beep]
Can you hold for a second?
[Operator:] Wait a min!
[Violent J:] Hello?
[Girl:] Hey what's up?
[Violent J:] Where you at?
[Girl:] Right down the street?
[Violent J:] With who?
[Girl:] My girl Shannon, we were wondering if we could stop by
[Violent J:] Well s*** yeah... com'on... bye
[Girl:] Really?
[Violent J:] Yeah hey...
[Girl:] I know bring some blunts
[Violent J:] Uh huh, alright, bye
[Priest leading in "Lord's Prayer":]
So we pray, our father Lord be together.
Amen.