It was a Friday night at a honky-tonk outside of town
They had a four band bill with the cats really laying it down
Yeah the dance floor was packed with the boppers really gettin down
When up comes the owner a cussin' and a wearin' a frown
He said "I hope you're havin' fun, I hope that's what you came here for
You been gettin' five bucks from everone who walks in the door
But the bartender's lonesome, he hasn't had a drink to pour
And the waitress just quit, she said we don't need her no more
Chorus:
This ain't no coffeehouse, ain't got dime lemonade
And I couldn't give a d*** about whatever was the music you played
And I really don't care about whatever was the deal we made
There better be some drinkin' if you're thinkin' that you're gonna get paid
Well just about then there was a grandma playin' the slots
And the bell started ringin' when grandma hit the jukebox
Grandma screamed and said "my, I'm as lucky as can be"
So leave the band alone and buy everyone a drink on me"
Chorus.
So if you came here tonight and all you're gonna do is dance
The waitress and the owners are sure to be losin' their pants
And I was just thinkin' that there really oughta be a law
If you ain't gonna drink you gotta bring your grandma
Chorus.
They had a four band bill with the cats really laying it down
Yeah the dance floor was packed with the boppers really gettin down
When up comes the owner a cussin' and a wearin' a frown
He said "I hope you're havin' fun, I hope that's what you came here for
You been gettin' five bucks from everone who walks in the door
But the bartender's lonesome, he hasn't had a drink to pour
And the waitress just quit, she said we don't need her no more
Chorus:
This ain't no coffeehouse, ain't got dime lemonade
And I couldn't give a d*** about whatever was the music you played
And I really don't care about whatever was the deal we made
There better be some drinkin' if you're thinkin' that you're gonna get paid
Well just about then there was a grandma playin' the slots
And the bell started ringin' when grandma hit the jukebox
Grandma screamed and said "my, I'm as lucky as can be"
So leave the band alone and buy everyone a drink on me"
Chorus.
So if you came here tonight and all you're gonna do is dance
The waitress and the owners are sure to be losin' their pants
And I was just thinkin' that there really oughta be a law
If you ain't gonna drink you gotta bring your grandma
Chorus.