It Makes the Room Look Bigger Lyrics

I've just finished decorating
It was very irritating
And I know they're going to come around tonight
And I know they're going to say to me tonight
It makes the room look bigger
It makes the room look bigger
So let's forget about the open top bus ride
Standing tall on the Town Hall balcony
It's about as likely as hen's teeth
It's about as likely as hen's teeth
And as the light gets dimmer
I watch the chance get slimmer

But I'm putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon
There's a fella coming round to put the gas back on
And if truth be told now that Thelma's gone
It makes the room look bigger
I'm drawn towards the souvenir stalls
I twirl around the keep fob rack
But it's alright for Nicholas and for Neal
Yeah but how do you think that makes me feel
And all the while I can see I'm on the CCTV

Elderly lady at the bus stop thinks I'm going to eat her
So to reassure her I ask her for the time
And her sense of relief at my friendly tone
Reveals itself in her karmic moan
You can wait twenty minutes and nothing comes along
Then all of a sudden three thugs rob your pension
Oh there's generally one at twenty five past
There's generally one at twenty five past
They come swinging round that corner
They think they're Benny Goodman
But I'm putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon
There's a fella coming round to put the gas back on
And if truth be told now that Thelma's gone
It makes the room look bigger

Oh tip-toe to the front row of the Korn Show
With a sub-machine gun