Arthur's Farm Lyrics

Arthur Askey and Dougie Wougie Bader
Went down to the Animal Farm.
Dougie bored a boar with his stories of the war,
And explained about the boil on his palm.
Napoleon, very pink, offered both of them a drink,
And a drink and a drink and a drink.
Come the hour of four, they were legless to be sure,
And not one of them had even had a wink
Of sleep.

And everybody sang as loud as they could,
Two legs bad, but four legs good.
This made the boys feel pretty oppressed.
Came the new realm, it was A. A. at the Helm,
While Dougers played 'Luftwaffe' on the roofs,
After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns,
And a signpost read 'Second hand hooves'
Years passed by, double glazing in the sty.
It was good but, it was total apathy,
Everybody a***d around and that 'Beasts of England'
Sound had been ruined by a busy busy bee.
And chants were heard from the East to the West,
Four legs good, but no legs best,
Invalidity reigned supreme.
And chants were heard from the East to the West,
Four legs good, but no legs best,
One time visitors were now the regime.