Not so long ago, there was an evil vampire
He lived at the top of a shopping mall, and listened to a lot of bon iver
Chai tea latte's were his beverage of choice, with a dash of blood of course
He spent most of his evenings, driving his mom and dad's porche
He was capable of flight, and turning into a bat
but mostly worried if his pale a** looked fat
His coven is whack, they all look glam
you can see it clearly on their instagram
They're all smart a**** and curse the shacks name
They wear skinny jeans, how f****** lame
He gives them all something, after they're bit
A grey cardigan, the mark of membership
Brosferatu! The terror in the night!
Brosferatu! Watch out for his b***!
Brosferatu! He's coming for your w***!
Brosferatu! He's after you again!
Brosferatu! Enemy of the Shack!
Brosferatu! Better guard your crack!
Then one day, a plot was hatched, to invade wormwood beach
They'd burn our shack, break our boards, and blast us with dub step beats
Kill our zombies for good, pour out our beer
Pull steve out of his cave, and melt down his chair
Shave the weredude , send him to school
To be taught manners and forget how to drool
Tackle doctor chainsaw, Bruising his chin
Tear down the shredmill, for the recycle bin
Lock us in a compound, surrounded by a fence
And tell us how they helped to fund the breastilence
That's not all, it get's worse, not better
They'll require a uniform with a cardigan sweater
What a nightmare, we can't let this happen
We'll mount a defense and stomp their little a****!
They're invading our beach, it's time to fight, let's kick some f****** a**!
Rip off their glasses and cardigans and stab them with some broken glass!
Someone goes berserk mode! It's a f****** cop?
It's Deltawing Officer Rathbun, busting shots non stop!
Out of the blue b****** start to fly, it's our Aussie bro Alex Potts!
A brutal jiu jitsu master, he hacks and chokes and stomps!
Brosferatu himself! He's f****** mad!
That little punk b**** even brought his mom and dad!
Dad points and yells "you boys better stop!"
Rathbun drew his gun, and blew his c*** off!
Brosferatu swooped down but was abruptly stopped
Potts had his a** in a crazy leg lock!
He almost had him dead, but he lost his hold
Bitten and drained his body turned cold!
Brosferatu! What an a******!
Brosferatu! Hipster scum!
Brosferatu! You d***!
Brosferatu! Bon Iver sucks!
Brosferatu! We should p*** on his cardigan!
Brosferatu! We kicked your a**, God d*** it!
Weredude howled! His aussie buddy's dead!
He went f****** nuts, he started to shred
Rathbun wasn't watching, he didn't dodge
So he fell victim, to a flailing claw
His blood drained out, limp his body fell
Steve saw it happen, tears began to swell
He conjured voodoo spells, fire began to fall
Most of those b****** ran back to the mall
He lived at the top of a shopping mall, and listened to a lot of bon iver
Chai tea latte's were his beverage of choice, with a dash of blood of course
He spent most of his evenings, driving his mom and dad's porche
He was capable of flight, and turning into a bat
but mostly worried if his pale a** looked fat
His coven is whack, they all look glam
you can see it clearly on their instagram
They're all smart a**** and curse the shacks name
They wear skinny jeans, how f****** lame
He gives them all something, after they're bit
A grey cardigan, the mark of membership
Brosferatu! The terror in the night!
Brosferatu! Watch out for his b***!
Brosferatu! He's coming for your w***!
Brosferatu! He's after you again!
Brosferatu! Enemy of the Shack!
Brosferatu! Better guard your crack!
Then one day, a plot was hatched, to invade wormwood beach
They'd burn our shack, break our boards, and blast us with dub step beats
Kill our zombies for good, pour out our beer
Pull steve out of his cave, and melt down his chair
Shave the weredude , send him to school
To be taught manners and forget how to drool
Tackle doctor chainsaw, Bruising his chin
Tear down the shredmill, for the recycle bin
Lock us in a compound, surrounded by a fence
And tell us how they helped to fund the breastilence
That's not all, it get's worse, not better
They'll require a uniform with a cardigan sweater
What a nightmare, we can't let this happen
We'll mount a defense and stomp their little a****!
They're invading our beach, it's time to fight, let's kick some f****** a**!
Rip off their glasses and cardigans and stab them with some broken glass!
Someone goes berserk mode! It's a f****** cop?
It's Deltawing Officer Rathbun, busting shots non stop!
Out of the blue b****** start to fly, it's our Aussie bro Alex Potts!
A brutal jiu jitsu master, he hacks and chokes and stomps!
Brosferatu himself! He's f****** mad!
That little punk b**** even brought his mom and dad!
Dad points and yells "you boys better stop!"
Rathbun drew his gun, and blew his c*** off!
Brosferatu swooped down but was abruptly stopped
Potts had his a** in a crazy leg lock!
He almost had him dead, but he lost his hold
Bitten and drained his body turned cold!
Brosferatu! What an a******!
Brosferatu! Hipster scum!
Brosferatu! You d***!
Brosferatu! Bon Iver sucks!
Brosferatu! We should p*** on his cardigan!
Brosferatu! We kicked your a**, God d*** it!
Weredude howled! His aussie buddy's dead!
He went f****** nuts, he started to shred
Rathbun wasn't watching, he didn't dodge
So he fell victim, to a flailing claw
His blood drained out, limp his body fell
Steve saw it happen, tears began to swell
He conjured voodoo spells, fire began to fall
Most of those b****** ran back to the mall