Rachel:
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be
Kurt and Rachel:
Popular
You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce (Rachel: Ooh)
Kurt:
I'll show you what shoes to wear
Rachel:
How to fix your hair
Kurt and Rachel:
Everything that really counts to be popular
I'll help you be popular
Rachel:
You'll hang with the right cohorts
Kurt:
You'll be good at sports
Rachel:
Know the slang you've got to know
Kurt and Rachel:
So let's start
Cause you've got an awfully long way to go
Rachel (and Kurt):
Don't be offended by my frank a***ysis
(Think of it as personality dialysis)
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a sister and adviser
Kurt:
There's nobody wiser
Rachel:
Not when it comes to
Kurt:
Popular
I know about popular
And with an a**ist from me
To be who you'll be
Kurt and Rachel:
Instead of dreary who you were
Kurt:
Well are
Kurt and Rachel:
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popular (Kurt: lar)
La la, la la
We're gonna make you popular
Rachel:
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
Kurt:
I remind them on their own behalf
Kurt and Rachel:
To think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Rachel:
Don't make me laugh
Haha
They were popular
Kurt:
Please
Kurt and Rachel:
It's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular
Like me (Rachel: Hihihi)
Rachel:
Why?
Miss Elphaba
Look at you
You're beautiful
Kurt:
I-I have to go
Rachel:
You're welcome
And though you protest
Your disinterest
Kurt and Rachel:
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity (Rachel: Ah)
La la la la
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be
Kurt and Rachel:
Popular
You're gonna be popular
I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce (Rachel: Ooh)
Kurt:
I'll show you what shoes to wear
Rachel:
How to fix your hair
Kurt and Rachel:
Everything that really counts to be popular
I'll help you be popular
Rachel:
You'll hang with the right cohorts
Kurt:
You'll be good at sports
Rachel:
Know the slang you've got to know
Kurt and Rachel:
So let's start
Cause you've got an awfully long way to go
Rachel (and Kurt):
Don't be offended by my frank a***ysis
(Think of it as personality dialysis)
Now that I've chosen to become a pal, a sister and adviser
Kurt:
There's nobody wiser
Rachel:
Not when it comes to
Kurt:
Popular
I know about popular
And with an a**ist from me
To be who you'll be
Kurt and Rachel:
Instead of dreary who you were
Kurt:
Well are
Kurt and Rachel:
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popular (Kurt: lar)
La la, la la
We're gonna make you popular
Rachel:
When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
Kurt:
I remind them on their own behalf
Kurt and Rachel:
To think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Rachel:
Don't make me laugh
Haha
They were popular
Kurt:
Please
Kurt and Rachel:
It's all about popular
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very, very popular
Like me (Rachel: Hihihi)
Rachel:
Why?
Miss Elphaba
Look at you
You're beautiful
Kurt:
I-I have to go
Rachel:
You're welcome
And though you protest
Your disinterest
Kurt and Rachel:
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity (Rachel: Ah)
La la la la
You'll be popular
Just not quite as popular as me