Things Are Seldom What They Seem Lyrics

b***ercup.
Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream;
Highlows pass as patent leathers;
Jackdaws strut in peacock's feathers.
Captain. (puzzled)
Very true,
So they do.

b***ercup.
Black sheep dwell in every fold;
All that glitters is not gold;
Storks turn out to be but logs;
Bulls are but inflated frogs.

Captain. (puzzled)
So they be,
Frequentlee.

b***ercup.
Drops the wind and stops the mill;
Turbot is ambitious brill;
Gild the farthing if you will,
Yet it is a farthing still.

Captain. (puzzled)
Yes, I know.
That is so.
Though to catch your drift I'm striving,
It is shady - it is shady;
I don't see at what you're driving,
Mystic lady - mystic lady.

Both. (aside)
Stern conviction's o'er me/him stealing,
That the mystic lady's dealing
In oracular revealing.
Captain.
Yes, I know -

b***ercup.
That is so!

Captain.
Though I'm anything but clever,
I could talk like that for ever:
Once a cat was killed by care,
Only brave deserve the fair.

b***ercup.
Very true,
So they do.

Captain.
Wink is often good as nod;
Spoils the child who spares the rod;
Thirsty lambs run foxy dangers;
Dogs are found in many mangers.
b***ercup.
Frequentlee,
I agree.

Captain.
Paw of cat the chestnut s*****es;
Worn-out garments show new patches;
Only count the chick that hatches;
Men are grown-up catchy-catchies.

b***ercup.
Yes, I know,
That is so.
(aside)Though to catch my drift he's striving,
I'll dissemble - I'll dissemble;
When he sees at what I'm driving,
Let him tremble - let him tremble!

Both.
Tho' a mystic tone I/you borrow,
He will/I shall learn the truth with sorrow;
Here today and gone tomorrow.

Captain.
Yes, I know.

b***ercup.
That is so!