Everything that we all do and we never talk about.. is funny, y'know? Have you ever been making out with someone and one of you has a snot that whistling?
"Ha, gee I think we blew it out of tune on the climax, honey. Geez!"
Here is something I discovered was more universal than I ever suspected. Well maybe not, prolly a little bit, anyway, y'know what I mean? And I found out...Ha.. I found out by asking people, when you take a p***, do you go like this? "ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" right?
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
I found out even women do that, man.
"ooooowooooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
Just a different position.
What is that, man? It Has no name. I call it the "p*** Shiver". It's nature's way of shaking off. It goes back to the days when we didn't hold on to it.
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" s***
Isn't it funny how we say "Take a s***" and "Take a p***", you don't take 'em, you leave 'em!
"I left the s***, Bill!"
"Geez, where'd ya leave it this time? Last year the kids didn't find it til Easter"
"I gotta take a s***!"
"Don't take one of mine! I only have 3 left and the weekend is coming up! Why don't ya go home and take one of your own s****? Christ, always taking my s****!"
When I have to take a s*** at the airport...I usually go in the handicap stall. First of all it's free, y'know? Secondly, everything is bigger in there, man. Yeah, you-ah... Your feet don't even touch the ground, man. Y'feel like Shirley Temple, man .... waiting for Raymond Burr.
"Let me in there!!"
Belly noise, Gut rumblings: When your stomach is talking to you
"Your stomach is talking to you"
I think that's called Borborygmi. I was told it was called Borborygmi which would be a good name for it...
"BORBORYGMI!"
"MWUNYAH! NEUMWENIUWOYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
That's a familiar one, right?
"OYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
Did you ever notice that one bubble sounds alot like the last one did? Goes the same way: Past the corn, around the peas, under the beef, over the gravy.
"WEEUMWENIUWOYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
One of the great times that your stomach does alot of this 'orating' is when you're sitting in the Dentist's waiting room... everyting's quiet, man... you're reading 'Cuspid Annual'... and your stomach is showing off or attracting attention.
"NWOR! WENIUWORRR!
Saying things like, "WE'RE POOR!! WE'RE POOR!!"
And you try to shuffle it a bit.. "MMMMMMM!!"
Did you ever belch and taste a hotdog you had two days ago?
"Hey! That was almost puke! There's a toss up between puke and hotdog there!"
In New York, if you spit in the subway it's a $50 fine. Vomitting is free, man. Did you ever notice that your whole sense of values changes when you're throwing up?
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY SHOES, AUUUGHH!!"
"Ha, gee I think we blew it out of tune on the climax, honey. Geez!"
Here is something I discovered was more universal than I ever suspected. Well maybe not, prolly a little bit, anyway, y'know what I mean? And I found out...Ha.. I found out by asking people, when you take a p***, do you go like this? "ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" right?
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
I found out even women do that, man.
"ooooowooooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo"
Just a different position.
What is that, man? It Has no name. I call it the "p*** Shiver". It's nature's way of shaking off. It goes back to the days when we didn't hold on to it.
"ooooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" s***
Isn't it funny how we say "Take a s***" and "Take a p***", you don't take 'em, you leave 'em!
"I left the s***, Bill!"
"Geez, where'd ya leave it this time? Last year the kids didn't find it til Easter"
"I gotta take a s***!"
"Don't take one of mine! I only have 3 left and the weekend is coming up! Why don't ya go home and take one of your own s****? Christ, always taking my s****!"
When I have to take a s*** at the airport...I usually go in the handicap stall. First of all it's free, y'know? Secondly, everything is bigger in there, man. Yeah, you-ah... Your feet don't even touch the ground, man. Y'feel like Shirley Temple, man .... waiting for Raymond Burr.
"Let me in there!!"
Belly noise, Gut rumblings: When your stomach is talking to you
"Your stomach is talking to you"
I think that's called Borborygmi. I was told it was called Borborygmi which would be a good name for it...
"BORBORYGMI!"
"MWUNYAH! NEUMWENIUWOYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
That's a familiar one, right?
"OYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
Did you ever notice that one bubble sounds alot like the last one did? Goes the same way: Past the corn, around the peas, under the beef, over the gravy.
"WEEUMWENIUWOYER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER-YER!"
One of the great times that your stomach does alot of this 'orating' is when you're sitting in the Dentist's waiting room... everyting's quiet, man... you're reading 'Cuspid Annual'... and your stomach is showing off or attracting attention.
"NWOR! WENIUWORRR!
Saying things like, "WE'RE POOR!! WE'RE POOR!!"
And you try to shuffle it a bit.. "MMMMMMM!!"
Did you ever belch and taste a hotdog you had two days ago?
"Hey! That was almost puke! There's a toss up between puke and hotdog there!"
In New York, if you spit in the subway it's a $50 fine. Vomitting is free, man. Did you ever notice that your whole sense of values changes when you're throwing up?
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY SHOES, AUUUGHH!!"