Earl Grey Lyrics

Is it perfume? Is it tea?
Whatever it is it does nothing for me
Should I drink it? Or dab it on?
Can I swap it for a coffee or has all the water gone
It is hot it is wet.
It is eau de toilette
Is it from the House of Lipton or Chanel?
I only want a cup of tea not this stuff you've given me
If you think I'm going to drink it go to

Help me
Someone call a doctor, call a nurse!
Call an ambulance I'm poisoned
And I think it's getting worse
I only wanted a cup of tea
But I fear that my last mouthful will be the death of me
It is hot it is wet
It is eau de toilette
To my mind it is more toilette than eau
If you want to spoil your day
Add the oil of Earl Grey
I'm reliably informed it's bergamot....
What a mouthful
Is it perfume? Is it wee?
Whatever it's supposed to be it doesn't taste like tea
Should I drink it or dab it on?
Can I swap it for a coffee or has all the water gone?

It is hot it is wet
It is eau de toilette
Is it Twinings? Is it Tetley? Let me see
Go ahead make my day
But please don't make me drink Earl Grey
All I want is a proper cup of tea