Back in the not-too-distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda
Off to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peek at all the portraits of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Internet p***
(Internet p***) Roman orgy scenes
(Internet p***) dominatrix queens
(Internet p***) girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep
(Internet p***) gross anatomy
(Internet p***) Pam and Tommy Lee
(Internet p***) when you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep?
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3:00 or 4:00
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of Internet p***
(Internet p***) barely legal teens
(Internet p***) naughty figurines
(Internet p***) geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men
(Internet p***) erotic Asian art
(Internet p***) guys with extra parts
(Internet p***) I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again
(Internet p***) melon-love.com
(Internet p***) there's my neighbor's mom
(Internet p***) bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs
(Internet p***) Maison l'Esclavage
(Internet p***) un, deux, trois menage
(Internet p***) every kind of s*** from every corner of the Earth
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda
Off to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peek at all the portraits of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of Internet p***
(Internet p***) Roman orgy scenes
(Internet p***) dominatrix queens
(Internet p***) girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep
(Internet p***) gross anatomy
(Internet p***) Pam and Tommy Lee
(Internet p***) when you're given so much to choose from, who has time to sleep?
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3:00 or 4:00
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of Internet p***
(Internet p***) barely legal teens
(Internet p***) naughty figurines
(Internet p***) geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men
(Internet p***) erotic Asian art
(Internet p***) guys with extra parts
(Internet p***) I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again
(Internet p***) melon-love.com
(Internet p***) there's my neighbor's mom
(Internet p***) bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs
(Internet p***) Maison l'Esclavage
(Internet p***) un, deux, trois menage
(Internet p***) every kind of s*** from every corner of the Earth