If you never hit a cow at 3 a.m.
In a borrowed Oldsmobile
Played cards all night in the county jail
With the one arm man name Phil
If you never counted ball off the fifth floor rail
And do a bull at the Holiday Inn
'Cause it was Panama City, you were drunk and she was pretty
The paramedics gave you a prefect ten
And when we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
If you never been bitten by a snake in a church
While you sang "Amazing Grace"
If you never had to bribe a border guard
To overlook that one suitcase
If you never hustle pool in a biker bar
And had an eight ball break your nose
Then hit the first Harley with the front of your truck
Just to watch them all fall like dominoes
When we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
If you never been banned from a Taco Bell
If you didn't fry your nest's egg
If you never had a doctor say "what the hell?"
As a little mad nurse climbed out of your bed
When we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
You might have both brain cells left
But I'll have better stories
I don't even know where half these scars came from
Somebody remembers though I can't, do you?
I know this one right here was from that jump across that car
On that bicycle, you dared me, I did it
Girls do love scars
In a borrowed Oldsmobile
Played cards all night in the county jail
With the one arm man name Phil
If you never counted ball off the fifth floor rail
And do a bull at the Holiday Inn
'Cause it was Panama City, you were drunk and she was pretty
The paramedics gave you a prefect ten
And when we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
If you never been bitten by a snake in a church
While you sang "Amazing Grace"
If you never had to bribe a border guard
To overlook that one suitcase
If you never hustle pool in a biker bar
And had an eight ball break your nose
Then hit the first Harley with the front of your truck
Just to watch them all fall like dominoes
When we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
If you never been banned from a Taco Bell
If you didn't fry your nest's egg
If you never had a doctor say "what the hell?"
As a little mad nurse climbed out of your bed
When we're old and rocking on the porch
Re-living all our glory
You might have a few less scars
But I'll have better stories
You might have both brain cells left
But I'll have better stories
I don't even know where half these scars came from
Somebody remembers though I can't, do you?
I know this one right here was from that jump across that car
On that bicycle, you dared me, I did it
Girls do love scars