My Bob Lyrics

It seems it's almost eight o'clock
It's time to visit my friend Bob
Pretty soon they'll lock him in
In this hick town that is the law
But I run, I make it there on time
It's four dollars ninety, keep the dime
I smuggle him home in the dark
Bob's my best friend - that's no lie
My Bob, he always looks surprised
My Bob makes me one of the guys
My Bob, one friend who never lies
My Bob, he can no longer see
My Bob lost face to technology
My Bob, he opens up to me
My Bob, he's smarter than he looks
My Bob gave better than he took
My Bob, we kiss until I puke
My Bob is always cold to me
But it is not because he's mean
I always take him how he comes
I have to cuz he's cheap
Sir Bobs and I'm almost there
My friends, they all want me to share
They curse me as I throw him out
But Bob's all mine, so I don't care

My Bob he's sitting right on top
My Bob, can't see him 'til he pops
My Bob, he's always in my thoughts
My Bob, he takes the easy route
My Bob, he slips into my mouth
My Bob, he always knocks me out
My Bob, he always makes me think
My Bob looks better when I drink
My Bob, he is the missing link
My Bob, he's hard to keep lit
My Bob, he's making me talk s***
My Bob, everything he does is t***
My Bob, he always understands
My Bob, he makes me e********
My Bob, he makes me handsome, yeah
My Bob, he never stays too late
My Bob, he's filling, he tastes great