Me'n the boys here have been all the way across the country a number of times, from one coast to t'other! And we seen a lot of crazy things out there on the road, so we decided to write a song about a group of men that work out there alongside us on the road and never get too much recognition. Are ya ready boys?
Here we go!
And a one, two, a one two three...
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I get this country rollin'
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'
I drive this truck to the mountains over every hill and hummock
I've got: "The South will rise again!" tattooed on my stomach!
I've hauled a million tons of freight from Pheonix to Omaha
And sometimes I fall asleep at the wheel and I kill carloads of tourists
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin'
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'
Lemmee talk to 'em for awhile there, Milton!
Well there you give 'em a little how-do-ya-do, pickle up the nostril, kiss my monkey, and I'll call you home for Christmas 'cause I'm bringing my turkey in my side pocket.
I will, boy, I will!
Well I ride down the road with my heavy load
The highway's long and lonely
So sometimes I pick up teenage hitchhikin' boys
And I go to motels and I neck with 'em
Sometimes a little more than neck, if you know what I mean!
Well sometimes I prod them with fondue forks and say, "You're gonna be a greek salad for me, and I'm gonna be your big olive."
[cheers]
Sometimes I dress up as a tree so as I can entice the small people to climb my trunk and touch my knees.
[cheers]
Sometimes I go home...
[cheers]
Sometimes I fondle a crippled gopher, tryin' to nurse it back to health. Then I stick it into my cheek and I roll around on the ground squirmin' and sayin', "uuullll, uuulll, get out of there, I'm comin' home!" Then you go up to the top of Mount Sinai and scream, "I want some [???]!"
But we don't want you to think it's all gophers in the cheek out there on the road, folks.
No sir!
Bring it down a little, fellas, bring it down. I got a scary story to tell. It gets kinda scary out there on the road. Like there was this one time me'n Milton here, we was at the top of a mountain pass. We are cruisin' 90 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked 20 feet high, when Milton here realizes that the brakes have given' away!
Well, I reckon that the brakes have given away, there.
And we were scared, boy, were we scared, Milton?
[scream]
And we're pickin' up speed too!
91, 92, 93 mile'n hour!
94, 95, 96 mile'n hour!
We're goin' 200 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains! We got chickens, chickens stacked 85 feet high! When Milt here realizes that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass.
Well I reckon that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass here.
And we're continuin' to pick up speed! We're goin' 15 hundred-thousand miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains! We got chickens, chickens stacked 2 miles high! And we slam into the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut! And we pass the [???] machines [???] money. And we climb out of our cab, and as we're standing over Mabel's four hundred pound greasy corpse, and there was only one thing that we could think, and only one thing that we could say...
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I'm a guy on the open road
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
Can you make that pie a la mode?
Can you put some ice cream on there? I'm a hungry man!
Here we go!
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin'
[???] go downtown, you wear a frown
You walk up to old Farmer Brown
And you kick him in the face and you knock him down
And he says, "Oh why did you kick me there?"
And I say, "Hey! 'Cause I got big hair!"
And I wash my street and kiss my mother
Then I go and rub my brother
With a piece of corn that I keep in my pants
If I'm going to go to France
Watch, watch, [???]
He's beneath the tree
I'm going to pee - ow! ow!
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'
Here we go!
And a one, two, a one two three...
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I get this country rollin'
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'
I drive this truck to the mountains over every hill and hummock
I've got: "The South will rise again!" tattooed on my stomach!
I've hauled a million tons of freight from Pheonix to Omaha
And sometimes I fall asleep at the wheel and I kill carloads of tourists
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin'
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'
Lemmee talk to 'em for awhile there, Milton!
Well there you give 'em a little how-do-ya-do, pickle up the nostril, kiss my monkey, and I'll call you home for Christmas 'cause I'm bringing my turkey in my side pocket.
I will, boy, I will!
Well I ride down the road with my heavy load
The highway's long and lonely
So sometimes I pick up teenage hitchhikin' boys
And I go to motels and I neck with 'em
Sometimes a little more than neck, if you know what I mean!
Well sometimes I prod them with fondue forks and say, "You're gonna be a greek salad for me, and I'm gonna be your big olive."
[cheers]
Sometimes I dress up as a tree so as I can entice the small people to climb my trunk and touch my knees.
[cheers]
Sometimes I go home...
[cheers]
Sometimes I fondle a crippled gopher, tryin' to nurse it back to health. Then I stick it into my cheek and I roll around on the ground squirmin' and sayin', "uuullll, uuulll, get out of there, I'm comin' home!" Then you go up to the top of Mount Sinai and scream, "I want some [???]!"
But we don't want you to think it's all gophers in the cheek out there on the road, folks.
No sir!
Bring it down a little, fellas, bring it down. I got a scary story to tell. It gets kinda scary out there on the road. Like there was this one time me'n Milton here, we was at the top of a mountain pass. We are cruisin' 90 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains. We got chickens! Chickens stacked 20 feet high, when Milton here realizes that the brakes have given' away!
Well, I reckon that the brakes have given away, there.
And we were scared, boy, were we scared, Milton?
[scream]
And we're pickin' up speed too!
91, 92, 93 mile'n hour!
94, 95, 96 mile'n hour!
We're goin' 200 miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains! We got chickens, chickens stacked 85 feet high! When Milt here realizes that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass.
Well I reckon that the only place we'll be able to stop is when we hit the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut at the bottom of the pass here.
And we're continuin' to pick up speed! We're goin' 15 hundred-thousand miles an hour down the side of the Rocky mountains! We got chickens, chickens stacked 2 miles high! And we slam into the wall of Mabel's Coffee Hut! And we pass the [???] machines [???] money. And we climb out of our cab, and as we're standing over Mabel's four hundred pound greasy corpse, and there was only one thing that we could think, and only one thing that we could say...
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I'm a guy on the open road
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
Can you make that pie a la mode?
Can you put some ice cream on there? I'm a hungry man!
Here we go!
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I keep this country rollin'
[???] go downtown, you wear a frown
You walk up to old Farmer Brown
And you kick him in the face and you knock him down
And he says, "Oh why did you kick me there?"
And I say, "Hey! 'Cause I got big hair!"
And I wash my street and kiss my mother
Then I go and rub my brother
With a piece of corn that I keep in my pants
If I'm going to go to France
Watch, watch, [???]
He's beneath the tree
I'm going to pee - ow! ow!
I'm a trucker, I'm a trucker
I like beer and broads and bowlin'