My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
I don't solicit business; there's no point in trying
What I like about my customers - they just keep on dying
Here lies Frederick, mourned by his wife
He lead a blameless life
He couldn't win the way she treated him
His gravestone should have read
Here lies Fred - he's better off dead
Rest in peace, rest in peace
My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
They bring the names of husbands, they bring the names of wives
They want me to perpetuate their awful, dreary lives
Here lies John, run over by a bus
He was loved by all of us
His time on earth, what was it worth
When all is said and done?
Here lies John - we're rather glad he's gone.
Rest in peace, rest in peace
They come to me and spend all they've got
'Cause it costs quite a lot to be remembered
They think it is the only way
What would the neighbors say anyway?
It's so prestigious, even though you're not religious
Maybe one day I will carve a stone
Big enough for everyone
And written there for those who care
In letters ten feet high:
"Here they lie who were born to die"
Rest in peace, rest in peace
Rest in peace, rest in peace now my friend, it's the end
Rest in peace, rest in peace now my friend, it's the end
My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
I don't solicit business; there's no point in trying
What I like about my customers - they just keep on dying
Here lies Frederick, mourned by his wife
He lead a blameless life
He couldn't win the way she treated him
His gravestone should have read
Here lies Fred - he's better off dead
Rest in peace, rest in peace
My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade
They bring the names of husbands, they bring the names of wives
They want me to perpetuate their awful, dreary lives
Here lies John, run over by a bus
He was loved by all of us
His time on earth, what was it worth
When all is said and done?
Here lies John - we're rather glad he's gone.
Rest in peace, rest in peace
They come to me and spend all they've got
'Cause it costs quite a lot to be remembered
They think it is the only way
What would the neighbors say anyway?
It's so prestigious, even though you're not religious
Maybe one day I will carve a stone
Big enough for everyone
And written there for those who care
In letters ten feet high:
"Here they lie who were born to die"
Rest in peace, rest in peace
Rest in peace, rest in peace now my friend, it's the end
Rest in peace, rest in peace now my friend, it's the end
My name it is Matthews, and I've got it made
A memorial maker - it's a profitable trade