he panic starts to drip with sweat, starts to inch in increments / worms itself along, lodges into vertebrae / dangle myself over the edge, an arm's length across the bed / sprawled out onto the dirty mess of things / the collapsible gap between just out-of-reach pipe dreams / fold in on themselves, still taunting me / i won't crook when i stand, arch over end to end / rot my mouth when i speak aloud, feel my tongue bend / i burrowed my nails into the back of my head / peeled back each layer until there was nothing left / i did all this so i could start again / i did all this so i could start again / run circles around, dizzied, slow down, vertigo / spin a web i could cling, paralyzed, unnerving / i know i can't always lean on you / but i stop and i freeze and need to be rescued / when the walls start closing in / i struggle to be a better man / i want to mirror the past but i'm afraid i can't / fit my feet in the prints you've left / i know i can't always lean on you / but i stop and i freeze and need to be rescued / when the walls start closing in / a spitting image, my father's son / i hold my breath, glue my eye's shut / and while they're closed i'm someone new / i'm someone ready to face the day