A shy young maid has took a room down at the village inn,
Her bedside light is oh so bright and the curtains oh so thin.
She enters her room at nine o'clock, at half past nine she sleeps,
Lord Clarendon walks quickly on but naughty Samuel peeps.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Last Monday morn my lady wife sent me to the butcher shop,
The butcher asked politely if I'd care for a mutton chop.
I smiled and said, "A small sheep's head is really all I seek,
And leave the eyes in 'cause it's got to see us through the week."
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
I know a shy young shepherd boy and Ba-a-a-asil is his name,
He has a sister called Anna who sets my heart aflame.
Through woodland glade and through meadows green I did walk with this fair lass,
But she slipped on a cow slip and she fell down on the grass.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Oh I stooped down and picked her up, her manner was serene,
"Kind sir," said she, "pray put me down for you don't know where I've been."
Basil begged me to marry her and this to me did say,
Please wed my sister Anna for she's in everybody's way.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Half way up a wall outside a castle in Tranmere,
There is a sign which reads, 'The Duke of Denby was born here."
Now I've travelled far and I've travelled wide but ne'er can I recall,
Of ever hearing of a duke born half way up a wall.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
I went to rent a lady's house, she handed me the key,
She said, "It's to be let as it stands with all that you can see."
'And are you to be let with the house?" said I in a very saucy tone,
She said, "I'm not to be let with the house, I'm to be let alone."
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Yes we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Her bedside light is oh so bright and the curtains oh so thin.
She enters her room at nine o'clock, at half past nine she sleeps,
Lord Clarendon walks quickly on but naughty Samuel peeps.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Last Monday morn my lady wife sent me to the butcher shop,
The butcher asked politely if I'd care for a mutton chop.
I smiled and said, "A small sheep's head is really all I seek,
And leave the eyes in 'cause it's got to see us through the week."
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
I know a shy young shepherd boy and Ba-a-a-asil is his name,
He has a sister called Anna who sets my heart aflame.
Through woodland glade and through meadows green I did walk with this fair lass,
But she slipped on a cow slip and she fell down on the grass.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Oh I stooped down and picked her up, her manner was serene,
"Kind sir," said she, "pray put me down for you don't know where I've been."
Basil begged me to marry her and this to me did say,
Please wed my sister Anna for she's in everybody's way.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Half way up a wall outside a castle in Tranmere,
There is a sign which reads, 'The Duke of Denby was born here."
Now I've travelled far and I've travelled wide but ne'er can I recall,
Of ever hearing of a duke born half way up a wall.
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
I went to rent a lady's house, she handed me the key,
She said, "It's to be let as it stands with all that you can see."
'And are you to be let with the house?" said I in a very saucy tone,
She said, "I'm not to be let with the house, I'm to be let alone."
For we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.
Yes we know it's right, it's in black and white,
And it's all written down in his diary.