The Tricks of the Trade Lyrics

If you're a lion tamer
or a picture framer
or a guy who squeezes lemonade
If you're a chimney sweeper
or a garden keeper
you gotta know tricks for the trade
If you're a habadasher
or an atom smasher
or you're merely doing a charade
If you're a flag post sitter
or a home run hitter
you gotta know the tricks of the trade
And when it comes to sweet romance
you gotta have a way for kissin
you gotta learn things in advance
Or you'll find there's a lot you're missin!
So all you gay romancers
better learn the answers
or you won't be in the love parade
To be a real sensation with your inspiration
You gotta know the tricks of the trade
If you're a tuba tooter
You can toot it cuter
If you know the tune that's being played
If you're a chiropractor or a tooth extractor
You gotta know the tricks of the trade
If you're a chicken plicker
Learn to plick 'em quicker
And double what you're being paid
If you're a pickle packer
Or a potato sacker
You gotta know the tricks of the trade
And when it comes to love in spring
You gotta know what arms are meant for
And when you buy a girl a ring
You gotta know what the dough was spent for
So all you gay romancers
better learn the answers
or you won't be in the love parade
To be a real sensation with your inspiration
You gotta know the tricks of the trade