The sun is shining in the Gulf of Mexico
For this is the land of Cmdr. Flex Plexico
Your b***on-down protection from the evil-eye
A goddam, stand-up, American kinda guy
His pencils are sharpened, his got a business-like air
Pearly white teeth and a full head of hair
But this is a man who's a special kind of mean,
Cos Flex is a cog in the company machine
Got fifteen guys here from Ragheadistan
Rogue-islamo-crypto-enemy combatants to a man
The boys in Intelligence got the word from X-Ray
They've all signed up to confessions saying "night is now day"
But orders came down saying cut these guys loose
Someone's been squealing 'bout the prisoner abuse
Flex thinks on his feet just like he's been told
The trick with the these f**** is to have not to hold
Now Flex is sweating, he feels the squeeze on his pips
He's chewing his fingers, he's biting his lips
Then in a flash he can see the way out
"We can't keep em in but we won't let em out"
"Redesignate them as guest untermenschen
Hold em at Walmart in protective detention"
I want a Buchanan special, get me Fox on the line
and call a press conference, everything'll be fine
For this is the land of Cmdr. Flex Plexico
Your b***on-down protection from the evil-eye
A goddam, stand-up, American kinda guy
His pencils are sharpened, his got a business-like air
Pearly white teeth and a full head of hair
But this is a man who's a special kind of mean,
Cos Flex is a cog in the company machine
Got fifteen guys here from Ragheadistan
Rogue-islamo-crypto-enemy combatants to a man
The boys in Intelligence got the word from X-Ray
They've all signed up to confessions saying "night is now day"
But orders came down saying cut these guys loose
Someone's been squealing 'bout the prisoner abuse
Flex thinks on his feet just like he's been told
The trick with the these f**** is to have not to hold
Now Flex is sweating, he feels the squeeze on his pips
He's chewing his fingers, he's biting his lips
Then in a flash he can see the way out
"We can't keep em in but we won't let em out"
"Redesignate them as guest untermenschen
Hold em at Walmart in protective detention"
I want a Buchanan special, get me Fox on the line
and call a press conference, everything'll be fine