Girls, I know you will understand this and feel the intrisic incredible emotion. You have just pulled over your head the warm, worn sweater belonging to a boy. Now you haven't had a passionate kissing session with him or anything, but you're about to go on a camping trip with him and 8 othe people from school... And you practically slept together your sleeping bag right next to his.. And you woke in the night to watch him as he slept but you couldn't see anything because it was dark but you just lay there and listen to his breathing wondering if your heart might burst.
The sweater has that slightly goat-like smell that all teenage boys possess. And that smell will transfer to all your other clothes. If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it but don't let your mom see because she'll say 'What is that filthy thing and who does it belong to besides the trash man?'. You have to keep it under the covers with you. You can kinda lie it beside you or wrap it around your waist or touch it on your legs, but that's your business.
Now, if the sweater has raindeer on it or it's a funny colour like yellow, I'm sorry, you can't get away with a sweater like that. Look for brown, or grey or blue. Anything other than that and you know you're dealing with someone who's different and different is not what you're looking for.
You're looking for those teenage alpine ski chissled features and that kind of blank look that passes for fodder at least the notion that someone's home. You're looking for the boy of your dreams which is the exact boy in the dreams of all your friends.
Now the sweater isn't going to fit you of course but you can sort of roll up the sleeves in a jaunty way that says 'This is the sweater belonging to a boy, and the boy is a genuine hunk-a-hunk o' burning love and this is not just some hand me down from your brother or your father.
Monday... Wear the sweater to school.
Be calm. Look cute. Don't tell him about the dream you had about the place the two of you would share when you get older, just be yourself. The best, cutest, quietest version of yourself. Definitely wear lip gloss.
He looks at you, he looks away, and then he walks away and the smell of the sweater hits you again suddenly like ape scent gloriola, and you get a note passed to you by a girl in history that says he needs his sweater back. He forgot that you put it on in the tent on saturday and he's been looking for it.
And you don't have to die of humiliation. You are a strong person and this is a learning experience. You can still hold your head up high as you run from the classroom tearing the stinking sweater from your body.
You look at that sweater, carefully, and you realize that love made you temporarily blind. You got a secret now honey and though you would never sink as low as him you could blab it all over the school if you wanted. The lable in that sweater said '100% Acrylic'.
The sweater has that slightly goat-like smell that all teenage boys possess. And that smell will transfer to all your other clothes. If you get to keep it for a few days you can sleep with it but don't let your mom see because she'll say 'What is that filthy thing and who does it belong to besides the trash man?'. You have to keep it under the covers with you. You can kinda lie it beside you or wrap it around your waist or touch it on your legs, but that's your business.
Now, if the sweater has raindeer on it or it's a funny colour like yellow, I'm sorry, you can't get away with a sweater like that. Look for brown, or grey or blue. Anything other than that and you know you're dealing with someone who's different and different is not what you're looking for.
You're looking for those teenage alpine ski chissled features and that kind of blank look that passes for fodder at least the notion that someone's home. You're looking for the boy of your dreams which is the exact boy in the dreams of all your friends.
Now the sweater isn't going to fit you of course but you can sort of roll up the sleeves in a jaunty way that says 'This is the sweater belonging to a boy, and the boy is a genuine hunk-a-hunk o' burning love and this is not just some hand me down from your brother or your father.
Monday... Wear the sweater to school.
Be calm. Look cute. Don't tell him about the dream you had about the place the two of you would share when you get older, just be yourself. The best, cutest, quietest version of yourself. Definitely wear lip gloss.
He looks at you, he looks away, and then he walks away and the smell of the sweater hits you again suddenly like ape scent gloriola, and you get a note passed to you by a girl in history that says he needs his sweater back. He forgot that you put it on in the tent on saturday and he's been looking for it.
And you don't have to die of humiliation. You are a strong person and this is a learning experience. You can still hold your head up high as you run from the classroom tearing the stinking sweater from your body.
You look at that sweater, carefully, and you realize that love made you temporarily blind. You got a secret now honey and though you would never sink as low as him you could blab it all over the school if you wanted. The lable in that sweater said '100% Acrylic'.