MAX:
Don't you see, Bloom. Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom. It's so simple.
Step One: we find the worst play ever written.
Step Two: we hire the worst director in town.
Step Three: I raise two million dollars...
LEO:
Two?
MAX:
Yes! One for me, one for you. There's a lot of little old ladies out there.
Step Four: We hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway.
And before you can say Step Five, we close on Broadway, take our two million and go to Rio.
LEO:
Rio? Nah, that'd never work.
MAX:
Oh ye of little faith.
What did Lewis say to Clark
When everything looked bleak?
What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing
As they struggled toward Everest's peak?
What did Washington say to his troops
As they crossed the Delaware
I'm sure you're well aware...
LEO:
What'd they say?
MAX:
We can do it, we can do it
We can do it, me and you
We can do it, we can do it
We can make our dreams come true
Everything you've ever wanted
Is just waiting to be had
Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls
Caressing you, undressing you
And driving you mad
We can do it, we can do it
This is not the time to shirk
We can do it, you won't rue it
Say goodbye to petty clerk
Hi, producer: yes, producer
I mean you, sir, go beserk!
We can do it, we can do it
And I know it's gonna work
Whatta ye say, Bloom?
LEO:
What do I say
Finally a chance to be a Broadway producer!
What do I say?
Finally a chance to make my dreams come true, sir!
What do I say, what do I say
Here's what I say to you, sir...
I can't do it, I can't do it
I can't do it, that's not me
I'm a loser, I'm a coward
I'm a chicken, don't you see?
When it comes to wooing women
There's a few things that I lack
Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls...
Cashing me, embracing me
I'd have an attack
MAX:
Why, you miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar!
Don't you ever want to become a b***erfly?
Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?
MAX:
We can do it
We can do it
We can grab that holy grail!
We can do it
We can do it
Drink champagne, not ginger ale
Come on, Leo
Can't you see-o ...
LEO:
Mr. Bialystock
Please stop the song
You've got me wrong
I'll say "so long"
I'm not as strong
A person as you think
Mr. Bialystock
Just take a look
I'm not a crook
I'm just a shnook
The bottom line
Is that I stink!
I...can't...
Do...it!
LEO:
You see Rio, I see jail!
MAX:
We can do it!
LEO:
I can't do it!
MAX:
We can do it!
LEO:
I cannot, cannot, cannot
'Cause I know it's gonna fail
MAX:
We can do it!
MAX:
I know it cannot fail
LEO:
It's gonna fail
Don't you see, Bloom. Darling Bloom, glorious Bloom. It's so simple.
Step One: we find the worst play ever written.
Step Two: we hire the worst director in town.
Step Three: I raise two million dollars...
LEO:
Two?
MAX:
Yes! One for me, one for you. There's a lot of little old ladies out there.
Step Four: We hire the worst actors in New York and open on Broadway.
And before you can say Step Five, we close on Broadway, take our two million and go to Rio.
LEO:
Rio? Nah, that'd never work.
MAX:
Oh ye of little faith.
What did Lewis say to Clark
When everything looked bleak?
What did Sir Edmund say to Tenzing
As they struggled toward Everest's peak?
What did Washington say to his troops
As they crossed the Delaware
I'm sure you're well aware...
LEO:
What'd they say?
MAX:
We can do it, we can do it
We can do it, me and you
We can do it, we can do it
We can make our dreams come true
Everything you've ever wanted
Is just waiting to be had
Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls
Caressing you, undressing you
And driving you mad
We can do it, we can do it
This is not the time to shirk
We can do it, you won't rue it
Say goodbye to petty clerk
Hi, producer: yes, producer
I mean you, sir, go beserk!
We can do it, we can do it
And I know it's gonna work
Whatta ye say, Bloom?
LEO:
What do I say
Finally a chance to be a Broadway producer!
What do I say?
Finally a chance to make my dreams come true, sir!
What do I say, what do I say
Here's what I say to you, sir...
I can't do it, I can't do it
I can't do it, that's not me
I'm a loser, I'm a coward
I'm a chicken, don't you see?
When it comes to wooing women
There's a few things that I lack
Beautiful girls, wearing nothing but pearls...
Cashing me, embracing me
I'd have an attack
MAX:
Why, you miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar!
Don't you ever want to become a b***erfly?
Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to glory?
MAX:
We can do it
We can do it
We can grab that holy grail!
We can do it
We can do it
Drink champagne, not ginger ale
Come on, Leo
Can't you see-o ...
LEO:
Mr. Bialystock
Please stop the song
You've got me wrong
I'll say "so long"
I'm not as strong
A person as you think
Mr. Bialystock
Just take a look
I'm not a crook
I'm just a shnook
The bottom line
Is that I stink!
I...can't...
Do...it!
LEO:
You see Rio, I see jail!
MAX:
We can do it!
LEO:
I can't do it!
MAX:
We can do it!
LEO:
I cannot, cannot, cannot
'Cause I know it's gonna fail
MAX:
We can do it!
MAX:
I know it cannot fail
LEO:
It's gonna fail