The beer I had for breakfast was a bottle of mad dog
And my 20/20 vision was 50% off
He said punch-buggy red and punched me right in my left eye
I said, "Don't you mean pediddle?" and I lit his house on fire
He came home on acid I was holding his shotgun
I was dressed like Tina Turner in Beyond Thunderdome
He said don't shoot, I said I won't, I love you, you're my friend
I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head
Then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull
I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall
I bought a Big Johnson shirt and some silicone t***
When I pulled out the tissues they were covered with s***
And the beer I had for breakfast was a box of cheap white wine
And the boom box on my shoulder was a box of Clementines
I ate every single one without noticing the mold
You said, "You're gross, my darling." I said, "No I'm rock and roll."
Even though I'd never ever been in a band
I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand
And the Christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared
Of burning in Hell, well I was already there
And the beer I had for breakfast silver bullet in the brain
And the beer I had for lunch was a bottle of night train
And the beer I had for dinner was my crazy neighbor's pills
We had to sit down on skateboards just to make it down the hill
Then I peed my pants and you stole the groom's cigar
And some old man made me watch him m********* locked in his car
When I got back to the apartment you were face down on the floor
You said, "Don't go to bed yet, let's go get a 64."
And the beer I had for breakfast was a pint of Jim Beam
And a fifth of peach schnapps and some warm Sunny D
And you said bottoms up just as I bottomed out
I tried to scream, "f*** you," but blood was pouring out my mouth
Evan Dando never planned on telling you the truth
And your Leonardo ID card is your fountain of youth
You can be a teenager for your whole f****** life
Just find some pretty sucker and make that b**** your wife
And I guess by now you all know my friend Danny broke his neck
He was driving home from sirens when he got into a wreck
First I cried for him and then I cried for me
Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be
But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands
And I buried my toes in the hot, hot sand
And the silver pink pony kisses me and says,
"You've come a long, long way, and you deserve to be really happy."
And my 20/20 vision was 50% off
He said punch-buggy red and punched me right in my left eye
I said, "Don't you mean pediddle?" and I lit his house on fire
He came home on acid I was holding his shotgun
I was dressed like Tina Turner in Beyond Thunderdome
He said don't shoot, I said I won't, I love you, you're my friend
I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head
Then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull
I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall
I bought a Big Johnson shirt and some silicone t***
When I pulled out the tissues they were covered with s***
And the beer I had for breakfast was a box of cheap white wine
And the boom box on my shoulder was a box of Clementines
I ate every single one without noticing the mold
You said, "You're gross, my darling." I said, "No I'm rock and roll."
Even though I'd never ever been in a band
I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand
And the Christians gave me comic books as if I would be scared
Of burning in Hell, well I was already there
And the beer I had for breakfast silver bullet in the brain
And the beer I had for lunch was a bottle of night train
And the beer I had for dinner was my crazy neighbor's pills
We had to sit down on skateboards just to make it down the hill
Then I peed my pants and you stole the groom's cigar
And some old man made me watch him m********* locked in his car
When I got back to the apartment you were face down on the floor
You said, "Don't go to bed yet, let's go get a 64."
And the beer I had for breakfast was a pint of Jim Beam
And a fifth of peach schnapps and some warm Sunny D
And you said bottoms up just as I bottomed out
I tried to scream, "f*** you," but blood was pouring out my mouth
Evan Dando never planned on telling you the truth
And your Leonardo ID card is your fountain of youth
You can be a teenager for your whole f****** life
Just find some pretty sucker and make that b**** your wife
And I guess by now you all know my friend Danny broke his neck
He was driving home from sirens when he got into a wreck
First I cried for him and then I cried for me
Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be
But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands
And I buried my toes in the hot, hot sand
And the silver pink pony kisses me and says,
"You've come a long, long way, and you deserve to be really happy."