Scene 2
Interior of "The Boar", typical main room of a country pub. No bar. Upright settles, tables, log
fire. When the curtain rises Auntie is admitting Mrs. Sedley. The gale has risen to hurricane force
and Auntie holds the door with difficulty against the wind which rattles the windows and howls in
the chimney. They both push the door closed.
Auntie
Past time to close!
Mrs. Sedley
He said half-past ten.
Auntie
Who?
Mrs. Sedley Mr. Keene. Auntie
Him and his women!
Mrs. Sedley
You referring to me?
Auntie
Not at all, not at all. What do you want? Mrs. Sedley
Room from the storm.
Auntie
That is the sort of weak politeness Makes a publican lose her clients. Keep in the corner out of
sight.
(Balstrode and a Fisherman enter. They struggle with the door.)
Balstrode
Phew, that's a b**** of a gale all right. Auntie (nods her head towards Mrs. Sedley) Sh-h-h.
Balstrode
Sorry. I didn't see you, missis. You'll give the regulars a surprise. Auntie
She's meeting Ned.
Balstrode Which Ned? Auntie
The quack.
He's looking after her heart attack.
Balstrode Bring us a pint. Auntie
It's closing time.
Balstrode
You fearful old female - why should you mind?
Auntie
The storm!
(Bob Boles and other fishermen enter. - The wind howls through the door and again there is
difficulty in closing it.)
Boles
Did you hear the tide
Has broken over the Northern Road?
(He leaves the door open too long with disastrous consequences. A sudden gust howls through the
door, the shutters of the window fly open, a plane blows in.)
Balstrode (shouts) Get those shutters. Auntie (screams) O-o-o-o-o!
Balstrode
You fearful old female, why do you Leave your windows naked?
Auntie
O-o-o-o-o!
Balstrode
Better strip a niece or two And clamp your shutters!
(The two 'nieces' run in. They are young, pretty enough though a little worn, conscious that they
are the c***f attractions of "The Boar". At the moment they are in mild hysterics, having run
downstairs in their night clothes, though with their unusual instinct for precaution they have
found time to don each a wrap. It is not clear whether they are sisters, friends or simply
colleagues: but they behave like twins, as though each has only half a personality and they cling
together always to sustain their self-esteem.)
Nieces
Oo! Oo!
It's blown our bedroom windows in. Oo! we'll all be drowned.
Balstrode Perhaps in gin. Nieces
I wouldn't mind if it didn't howl. It gets on my nerves.
Balstrode
D'you think we
Should stop our storm for such as you - Coming all over palpitations!
"Oo! Oo!"
Auntie, get some new relations.
Auntie (takes it ill)
Loud man, I never did have time
For the kind of creature who spits in his wine. A joke's a joke and fun is fun,
But say your grace and be polite for all that we have done.
Nieces
For his peace of mind.
Mrs. Sedley
This is no place for me!
Auntie
Loud man, you're glad enough to be Playing your cards in our company. A joke's a joke and fun is
fun,
But say your grace and be polite for all that we have done.
Nieces
For his peace of mind.
Mrs. Sedley
This is no place for me!
Auntie
Loud man -!
(Some more fishermen and women come in. Usual struggle with the door.)
Fisherman
There's been a landslide up the coast.
Boles (rising unsteadily)
I'm drunk. Drunk!
Balstrode
You're a Methody wastrel.
Boles (staggers to one of the nieces)
Is this a niece of yours?
Auntie That's so. Boles
Who's her father?
Auntie
Who wants to know?
Boles
I want to pay my best respects
To the beauty and misery of her s**.
Balstrode
Old Methody, you'd better tune You piety to another hymn.
Boles
I want her! Balstrode Sh-h-h.
Auntie (cold) Turn that man out. Balstrode
He's the local preacher.
He's lost the way of carrying liquor. He means no harm.
Boles
No, I mean love!
Balstrode
Come on, boy!
(Boles hits him. Mrs. Sedley screams. - Balstrode quietly overpowers Boles and sits him in a
chair.)
Interior of "The Boar", typical main room of a country pub. No bar. Upright settles, tables, log
fire. When the curtain rises Auntie is admitting Mrs. Sedley. The gale has risen to hurricane force
and Auntie holds the door with difficulty against the wind which rattles the windows and howls in
the chimney. They both push the door closed.
Auntie
Past time to close!
Mrs. Sedley
He said half-past ten.
Auntie
Who?
Mrs. Sedley Mr. Keene. Auntie
Him and his women!
Mrs. Sedley
You referring to me?
Auntie
Not at all, not at all. What do you want? Mrs. Sedley
Room from the storm.
Auntie
That is the sort of weak politeness Makes a publican lose her clients. Keep in the corner out of
sight.
(Balstrode and a Fisherman enter. They struggle with the door.)
Balstrode
Phew, that's a b**** of a gale all right. Auntie (nods her head towards Mrs. Sedley) Sh-h-h.
Balstrode
Sorry. I didn't see you, missis. You'll give the regulars a surprise. Auntie
She's meeting Ned.
Balstrode Which Ned? Auntie
The quack.
He's looking after her heart attack.
Balstrode Bring us a pint. Auntie
It's closing time.
Balstrode
You fearful old female - why should you mind?
Auntie
The storm!
(Bob Boles and other fishermen enter. - The wind howls through the door and again there is
difficulty in closing it.)
Boles
Did you hear the tide
Has broken over the Northern Road?
(He leaves the door open too long with disastrous consequences. A sudden gust howls through the
door, the shutters of the window fly open, a plane blows in.)
Balstrode (shouts) Get those shutters. Auntie (screams) O-o-o-o-o!
Balstrode
You fearful old female, why do you Leave your windows naked?
Auntie
O-o-o-o-o!
Balstrode
Better strip a niece or two And clamp your shutters!
(The two 'nieces' run in. They are young, pretty enough though a little worn, conscious that they
are the c***f attractions of "The Boar". At the moment they are in mild hysterics, having run
downstairs in their night clothes, though with their unusual instinct for precaution they have
found time to don each a wrap. It is not clear whether they are sisters, friends or simply
colleagues: but they behave like twins, as though each has only half a personality and they cling
together always to sustain their self-esteem.)
Nieces
Oo! Oo!
It's blown our bedroom windows in. Oo! we'll all be drowned.
Balstrode Perhaps in gin. Nieces
I wouldn't mind if it didn't howl. It gets on my nerves.
Balstrode
D'you think we
Should stop our storm for such as you - Coming all over palpitations!
"Oo! Oo!"
Auntie, get some new relations.
Auntie (takes it ill)
Loud man, I never did have time
For the kind of creature who spits in his wine. A joke's a joke and fun is fun,
But say your grace and be polite for all that we have done.
Nieces
For his peace of mind.
Mrs. Sedley
This is no place for me!
Auntie
Loud man, you're glad enough to be Playing your cards in our company. A joke's a joke and fun is
fun,
But say your grace and be polite for all that we have done.
Nieces
For his peace of mind.
Mrs. Sedley
This is no place for me!
Auntie
Loud man -!
(Some more fishermen and women come in. Usual struggle with the door.)
Fisherman
There's been a landslide up the coast.
Boles (rising unsteadily)
I'm drunk. Drunk!
Balstrode
You're a Methody wastrel.
Boles (staggers to one of the nieces)
Is this a niece of yours?
Auntie That's so. Boles
Who's her father?
Auntie
Who wants to know?
Boles
I want to pay my best respects
To the beauty and misery of her s**.
Balstrode
Old Methody, you'd better tune You piety to another hymn.
Boles
I want her! Balstrode Sh-h-h.
Auntie (cold) Turn that man out. Balstrode
He's the local preacher.
He's lost the way of carrying liquor. He means no harm.
Boles
No, I mean love!
Balstrode
Come on, boy!
(Boles hits him. Mrs. Sedley screams. - Balstrode quietly overpowers Boles and sits him in a
chair.)