I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy a** s***
that my friend overnight mailed to me
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I ever tasted
I think they f****** laced it
Cause I'm so d*** lambasted
Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy with this s*** but he didn't believe the hype
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked
He's f****** wasted
It's the best s*** he ever tasted
He's lost in f****** s***ed-ed
Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted
Oh I spent the last two hours
hiding under my bed
Cause I looked in the garbage can
and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head
I'm f****** wasted
Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I've ever tasted
My brain's been erased-ed
Well f****** fried
I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I ever f****** tasted
Oh f****** s***
I'm way too baked
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy a** s***
that my friend overnight mailed to me
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I ever tasted
I think they f****** laced it
Cause I'm so d*** lambasted
Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy with this s*** but he didn't believe the hype
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked
He's f****** wasted
It's the best s*** he ever tasted
He's lost in f****** s***ed-ed
Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted
Oh I spent the last two hours
hiding under my bed
Cause I looked in the garbage can
and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head
I'm f****** wasted
Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I've ever tasted
My brain's been erased-ed
Well f****** fried
I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you
I'm f****** wasted
It's the best s*** I ever f****** tasted
Oh f****** s***
I'm way too baked